A Mortuary Sci. Professor of mine said at the beginning of
their class that "One does not get into the Funeral Industry if they are
in need of constant validation and praise. This is a Caregivers
profession."
While I can certainly understand what the Professor was
saying, I must express my disagreement. It is very true that I am not praised
every single day by my families. Death doesn't always bring out the best in
people, so they get angry or they fight and they don't thank their Director.
That's ok with me. I don't take it personally.
It is also true that those of us who are good at our job as
a Director, do this because we want to help people for them and not for the
recognition. I do my job to help families and it is a Caregiving profession.
That being said, the gratitude that is expressed to me by
the families I serve is overwhelming.
I create a bond with my families that is unlike anything I
can create elsewhere. These are people I
may never see again but they have changed my life and I have changed theirs. I
know the dynamics of their family, I have seen them laugh and cry and have
heard stories of their loved ones that no one has told for 30 years.
I feel like I am validated simply by the deep appreciation
of the family. I am thanked regularly and I am greatly honored. I am honored
that I have been briefly let into the lives of amazing people I would have
otherwise never met.
There is no better feeling than knowing that something that
I did eased an indescribable pain. The families I work with can tell that about
me. They know how much I care, how I treat each person as though they were my
own flesh and blood. (Maybe ‘flesh and blood’ is a bad choice of words but you
understand)
When you are searching for a Funeral Director please understand that there are so very many of us and that it is important to find one who fits your family. You will have an easier time, even possibly a positive experience, working with a Director that you are comfortable with. You don’t have to leave the Funeral Home with a new best friend but having a Director who can comfort and understand you is important.
I will happily meet any person who is looking for a Funeral home (for themselves or their loved one) for a coffee. At that point we can see if we fit, if together we can create a ceremony, a celebration and a safe space to remember the person who has passed. Funerals are for the deceased but the experience is to help those left behind swim through their grief. That is easier done with a Director who can become a part of your family for a time. Find a Director you feel comfortable with. I can’t express that enough.
I am honored to work with the families I do. When they hug me and tell me “You have found your calling” I know they are right. That hug or look in their eyes before they leave after the final service, is more of an expression of gratitude than I could ever ask for.
When you are searching for a Funeral Director please understand that there are so very many of us and that it is important to find one who fits your family. You will have an easier time, even possibly a positive experience, working with a Director that you are comfortable with. You don’t have to leave the Funeral Home with a new best friend but having a Director who can comfort and understand you is important.
I will happily meet any person who is looking for a Funeral home (for themselves or their loved one) for a coffee. At that point we can see if we fit, if together we can create a ceremony, a celebration and a safe space to remember the person who has passed. Funerals are for the deceased but the experience is to help those left behind swim through their grief. That is easier done with a Director who can become a part of your family for a time. Find a Director you feel comfortable with. I can’t express that enough.
I am honored to work with the families I do. When they hug me and tell me “You have found your calling” I know they are right. That hug or look in their eyes before they leave after the final service, is more of an expression of gratitude than I could ever ask for.
