Funeral Cortege Etiquette

Let’s talk RESPECT! Let’s talk ETIQUETTE. Let us talk about my biggest pet peeve. 
HOW TO ACT WHEN A FUNERAL CORTEGE DRIVES BY

I am regularly appalled and disgruntled when I drive the hearse or family car in a cortege, or even today as a cortege went by when I was driving my personal car. 

When there are cars or motorcycles with lights and sirens going followed by a hearse, often a limo or two and then a line of cars, THAT is a group of mourners driving to the grave of someone they have loved and lost. 

Let’s let that sink in. The person in the hearse has died. The people in the cars following are in mourning.

The way that people drive around emergency vehicles and funeral corteges makes me want to yell profanities and recite many hexes. Fortunately, I’m not really that kind of person and I would never exhibit such hostility in front of a family. However, I have had a few family members that were riding in the limo loudly express their opinion of peoples disregard for their grief.

Here’s what NOT to do:

-DO NOT cut off ANYONE in the procession and pull into the line of cars. You can tell who is a part of the procession because they will have their four-way blinkers on.

While driving on a major highway, going just about 10 mph under the speed limit, I thought I was about to witness the death of a couple motorcycle friends. I was driving the coach with the widow and the deceased as we were escorted by about 12 motorcycles. These were military escorts, with sirens, lights and several flags. There was no mistaking that we were all together and that we were driving to a cemetery. There was also NO line of cars behind the coach. I watched (almost as if in slow motion) a giant, red Ford truck impatiently pull onto the highway right into my motorcycle escorts. Four of the motorcycles had to swerve into a, thankfully empty, left lane in order to not get hit! If there would have been cars in the left lane we would have had an even more traumatic situation to deal with.

-DO NOT honk your horn

-DO NOT pass the cortege on the right side unless all of the vehicles of the procession are in the farthest left lane.

-DO NOT turn your car onto an off street (to avoid waiting your turn) in front of any car in the procession, ESPCIALLY the police car.

I had a car turn abruptly, after the police escort and in front of the hearse that I was driving. She was inches away from taking out my bumper. I had to slam on the brake. If you have never driven a hearse….slamming on the break is not something we like to do, especially with a casket in the back!

-DO NOT enter an intersection if the procession is proceeding through a red light, even if your signal is green.

-DO NOT walk out into the street, as a pedestrian. Wait your turn.

-DO NOT yell at or throw things at the procession. 

I can’t believe I even have to list that!

Here is what you CAN do:

-DO slow down and pull to the side of the road as the procession passes you, even if you are driving in the opposite direction. 

The cars/motorcycles that are escorting are highly trained but have a challenging job. They are entrusted to get a large number of cars safely to a cemetery. Sometimes it is necessary to drive down small or crowded streets or highways. The company that I use and trust has a system that tends to require them to drive on shoulders or medians/turn lanes of the road. They know what they are doing. Don’t get in the way or make their job more difficult or dangerous.

-DO feel free to salute, bow your head or put your hand over your heart if you are a witnessing pedestrian. The family will see and appreciate this sign of respect.

-DO stay out of it. It’s not your funeral, yet.